Turns out, Natural Family Planning (NFP) isn’t Catholic birth control. I’ve written a few articles on this and I talk about it a lot. It’s not possible for NFP to be Catholic birth control because the science of FABMs and its practice within the context of Catholic marriages doesn’t allow it to work that way.
There is no contraception involved. Self-mastery is required if you discern to abstain from sex in order to avoid pregnancy during a particular fertile period. Abstinence is selfless – not selfish. Pope Pius VI talks about abstinence and using the woman’s cycle as knowledge in marriage in Humanae Vitae and calls out the self-mastery and prudence required of a married couple in order to naturally plan families.
What I will say is we’ve gotten so focused in NFP conversations about effectiveness of NFP in avoiding (because our culture is so anti-baby and anti-life), we need to have a more holistic approach to talking about both avoiding and achieving. This means the science works AND we’re opening up conversations for couples to recognize and ask each other (note: each couple’s own discernment process) for what it means to be “open to life”.
NFP challenges couples to have these conversations. Because, guess what, when you’re really desirous of each other and you start to realize that after a couple months you’re reason to abstain maybe doesn’t make sense, you have to talk about it. Or, maybe you realize your reason is serious and grounded and you have to talk about it and be honest with each other about how hard NFP can be.
Abstaining isn’t sinful. It’s not wrong. It’s a part of discerning, asking God in, and remembering that each month, you have an opportunity to create new life and you are giving God space to create life, too. Yes, the science works. And, yes, openness to life is also beautiful. It doesn’t have to be either/or.
With NFP, you’re not using contraception, you’re working with an instructor, you’re honoring each other by not demanding sex, and you’re striving towards holiness. It’s a journey! And, it can be gray and hard and, at other times, straight-forward and wonderful. Because the pathway to Heaven isn’t easy and love is demanding, but, ultimately, to love is to will the good of the other – and we’re being challenged to reckon with what that really means.
