My Natural Family Planning (NFP) journey started after years of being on birth control for my extreme periods and cramps. Looking back, I truly wish I had been better informed of the long term effects of birth control. But I wasn’t. I went to the doctor for a well-check, mentioned that my periods were “heavy and long” (in comparison to what? I still don’t know) and was sent home with a prescription for an oral contraceptive pill that I was told would make things regular and easy on me.
Without any other knowledge, why would I pass up the opportunity for a “normal” period?!
A few years later, I started growing in my Catholic faith and also in my health. I met my now husband who pushed me to stop taking birth control when we met. He asked if I knew of how taking this pill could affect my health and I had no idea. But this prompted me to look into it. Throughout my learning journey, I realized that birth control was only masking the problem. It also was against my Catholic faith and would be a hindrance on our intimacy when we got married.
So I got off birth control and 6 months later we started our marriage prep classes. I was told an NFP course was required. Our church recommended a course, and without any question, that was what we took. This is because at the beginning of my journey, I had no idea about all the options available. I started the sympto-thermal method, and it didn’t make sense to me. I didn’t have an instructor and I just took an online course on my own. I started to track my period and my chart was making no sense. It wasn’t working because I wasn’t doing it correctly. I wasn’t waking up at the same time every day to take my temperature. But I didn’t know other options existed and I needed to check off the “NFP course” box for marriage prep, so I didn’t look any further. I just figured NFP wouldn’t work for us.
We got married and got pregnant right away. So the topic of NFP fell to the wayside anyway. We then had our daughter, Sienna Rose. I decided to look into other options of NFP at this point. I chose Creighton, because many of my Catholic friends recommended this method. I began using it postpartum. I had an instructor this time (highly recommend) and the chart started to make sense to me. Until it didn’t. I got pregnant with Charlie when Sienna was 4 months old. This is because my chart showed I ovulated but then I had a second peak due to stress (we think). So long story short, my charting said I was infertile, but in reality it was a false ovulation and another was later to come, meaning I was still fertile.
After having Charlie, I continued with Creighton and just hoped for the best. We got pregnant with Henry a year later. After Henry, I now had 3 under 3 and was looking for a method where I could really see what my body was doing. Through 2 methods, I had yet to really trust my body or understand the way it was functioning. However I had heard stories of women saying that NFP empowered them to get to know their bodies, and I so wanted this experience.
I heard about the Marquette method of NFP. I was told this method was great for postpartum. So, I jumped right on it, found an instructor, and really have appreciated how it all works. This method of NFP involves a monitor, which helps me. I like that I test my hormones everyday rather than relying on my own judgement. Being someone who has never had knowledge of what is going on with my hormones or body, I feel “safe” with this method.
My biggest advice is not to settle for a method that doesn’t work for you. There are so many different methods and all of us are so different. If I had stopped at the first method I learned, I would be one of the people saying NFP is too complicated, or NFP doesn’t work. I wasn’t raised knowing what NFP was. Everyone I knew took birth control. So I can understand why NFP seems taboo to some.
But I want to be clear that there is a right and wrong way. Contraception is wrong and there is no way around that. There is also no better feeling in a marriage to be doing things the right way. There are graces that come with not taking short cuts and by trusting God’s will. I know I’m treating my body the way God created it to be. There is no greater peace.
