I want to address every woman, young and old, who has wondered, “What is the big deal with charting cycles? Fertility awareness doesn’t seem important, unless you are trying to get pregnant or against using birth control.” At 17 years old, I would have agreed with that sentiment. At 17, I was your average teenage girl with good friends and bad ones, crushes, favorite songs, and days spent daydreaming about the “start” to my real life. But I was also not so average in that I was 17 years old and had only ever had one period my entire life.
No Cycle, No Problem
I remember feeling no sense of urgency to experience a period. I thought I was lucky to avoid something that seemed to put so many of my friends out for days. My mom and my healthcare practitioner did not share the same sentiments, however. Lord bless them, they had the best of intentions, but they never quite clarified (or at least, I wasn’t satisfied with the clarification) WHY it was so important that I be cycling. Just that things were not as they should be and it could cause some issues down the road. I was never sure what these “issues” may be, but I conceded that they must be right and agreed to do what I had to to jump start my cycles.
With time, treatments, and some wild coincidences that are too detailed to share in this story, I finally began to cycle regularly. It wasn’t so bad at first, but about a year later, I encountered pain like I had never known. At this point, my cycle symptoms exploded into a litany of offenses that felt like a nightmare every month. Painful cramps, back aches, fatigue, heavy bleeding, mood swings, brain fog, acne, sore breasts; you name it, I had it. I survived with these symptoms and suffered through them in solidarity with many of my friends for years. We’d commiserate together with morbid jokes wishing that we didn’t have to experience this aspect of “womanhood.” If only we knew the truth!
Enter FEMM
As a sophomore in college, I was introduced to FEMM. My degree of choice was in an allied health profession, but I was fascinated with all things medicine. My college hosted a panel of experts who spoke on medical ethics and how to serve as a Catholic healthcare provider in a secular world. I attended the talk and was introduced to this organization that promoted women’s health in a way I had never witnessed. The first talk was just a taste, but FEMM returned multiple times and each visit was more convincing than the last; THIS was the type of approach women need for their health.
Now, you must be wondering what FEMM is, let alone what makes it so unique. FEMM is an acronym for Fertility Education and Medical Management. It’s a women’s reproductive health program that first educates women on their cycles through certified teachers and then supports them via trained medical professionals who seek the root cause of women’s health concerns. Education, then management. It’s a simple design, but very effective.
Let me explain. We cannot make an informed decision on our health without two things: our specific health condition, and all of our options to treat said condition. When women see a practitioner who hears their list of symptoms and then says, “Well, that’s not good. Let’s prescribe you birth control so we can regulate your cycles,” does that sound like a full understanding of her health issue and her options to treat it? No! Quite the opposite. What about the couple that is immediately offered IUI or IVF when they have trouble conceiving a child? Are they not worth the time and effort to uncover the true reasons that they are unable to conceive naturally, and the diagnosis and treatment that could potentially reverse their symptom of infertility? I’m sure most would argue that they are! The unfortunate truth is that many women experience this type of “treatment” when it comes to their cycle health and fertility. There is no search for answers and no true healing. It’s a treatment of the symptoms, but not of the actual dis-ease.
Knowledge is Foundational to Love
FEMM and fertility awareness exist to change that narrative. You cannot make an informed decision without knowledge. You cannot truly know something without learning or experiencing it. You also cannot love something without knowledge. So when you’re talking about knowing your cycles so you can make an informed decision, you’re not just talking about getting to the root cause of your symptoms. You’re also talking about knowing your cycles so you can love yourself better.
Knowledge is the foundation on which love is built. How do we achieve knowledge of ourselves? From study. How do we study ourselves and our feminine design? Charting and understanding our own cycle data. Ladies, it is really a simple task, but one that is vastly underrated and underutilized.
How FEMM Fits Into Every Woman’s World
When I was introduced to FEMM, I sensed pieces of my personal puzzle falling into place. The more I was exposed to the information, the more I wanted to learn. The more I learned, the more I felt I needed to know. As I grew in my knowledge of charting, women’s health, and my own cycle issues, I realized how desperately every woman needs this information.
I’m sure you gathered by now that I learned to chart with FEMM. From there I began to fully understand and heal my cycles. During that time I was able to grow in my relationship with my (now) husband as well. We had to address some concerns with my fertility which created a space for us to grow stronger in understanding and love before we were even married. The more my cycles healed, the more convinced I was that this information was for every woman. An opportunity to become a certified FEMM instructor fell into my lap and I leapt at the chance!
I want, more than anything, for women of all ages to have access to fertility awareness. It is in no way an exaggeration when I say it is life-changing and life-giving. At this point, I advocate heavily for high schools and colleges to bring programs like teenFEMM in to teach teens and young women how to chart for health and body literacy. I’ve been fortunate enough to share FEMM in a few school settings and the overwhelming response has been, “I wish I knew this sooner.” We need to stop being ashamed of having this conversation about periods and cycle health. Be they irregular, painful, flip your world upside down, or go by unnoticed, it’s time we give women the tools they need to know, understand, and love themselves for the uniqueness of their feminine design.
You Do Not Have to Do This Alone
I’m eternally grateful to my mom and my practitioner for having the wherewithal to avoid putting me on hormonal birth control. My only wish is that they were equipped with this knowledge of charting so we could have healed my cycles sooner. I want to give all women the option to avoid the type of situation I was in. I will never stop sharing about FEMM and fertility awareness. I will never be ashamed of my femininity. If you need a friend, a guide, or a listening ear on this journey, my door is always open.
To all women; fertility awareness heals. Fertility awareness provides knowledge of yourself. Fertility awareness gives you a foundation on which to love yourself and others more fully. I truly believe that fertility awareness is changing the face of women’s health care because it demands more. That is why it’s important.
