Are you an “O” Queen in your marriage?
Yes, I’m talking about orgasms.
Did you know that it’s totally normal and healthy to pursue great orgasms in your marriage – for both men and women? And, ideally, it’s important to work together to climax simultaneously?
Don’t just take my word for it.
St. Pope JPII talked about this explicitly in his book, “Love and Responsibility“. He explored sex as a verb, looked at various research from psychologists and sexologists, and desired to create a more integrative conversation around sex that included the teachings of the Catholic Church, specifically the theology of the body. His focus was not purely about pleasure (this is very important to note), but about altruism in loving the other and caring for the other in the sexual act. Pleasure is good and the opportunity to love the other as a gift is important and necessary. The both/and can exist in this space that pleasure in sex is awesome and sex itself is a gift and it’s a reflection of the love of the Trinity. Sex holds deep theological realities and very real physical experiences for us as human beings!
“We have defined love as an ambition to ensure the true good of another person, and consequently as the antithesis of egoism. Since in marriage a man and a woman are associated sexually as well as in other respects the good must be sought in this area too. From the point of view of another person, from the altruistic standpoint, it is necessary to insist that intercourse must not serve merely as a means of allowing sexual excitement to reach its climax in one of the partners, i.e. the man alone, but that climax must be reached in harmony, not at the expense of one partner, but with both partners fully involved.”
St. Pope John Paul II, “Love and Responsibility”
Does the word orgasm seem like a dirty word to you?
Does it make you uncomfortable to talk about?
I’m going to ask you to dig a little deeper and get curious: WHY?
God made man and woman to experience the joys and physical pleasures of sex in marriage AND to experience the graces that come from the unity of sex, too? And, of course, the potential for new life to be created!
God didn’t give us these pleasurable urges and desires for nothing or for shaming us! Sexual desire and pleasure is not a result of sin.
It’s a result of a loving God who created us with the ability to love each other in and through sex. Original sin made it wonky and we now navigate unhealthy desire and domination (see Gen 3:16), but through grace, the sacraments, psychological & physical support (as needed), we can experience the goodness of sex as it was intended!
Will it be perfect? No. Otherwise, would I be talking about it??
“There exists a rhythm dictated by nature itself which both spouses must discover so that climax may be reached both by the man and by the woman, and as far as possible occur in both simultaneously.”
St. Pope John Paul II, “Love and Responsibility”
But, it IS possible to experience and grow in a wonderful, flourishing sexual relationship with your spouse and ENJOY IT together, while not forgetting to see the other as person with great dignity and the opportunity to be loved.
And, yes, you can become the “O” Queen along with your “O” King!
Ya feel me? Or are we blushing at the moment??
