In the conversations and research surrounding hormonal contraception, the fundamental question keeps coming up:
Do you want crappy sex or a baby?
While doctors and scientists identify all the challenges of side effects women experience on hormonal contraception (from minor to severe), the most controversial aspect remains: how do women plan their family and space pregnancies?
Even if the side effects are impacting everyday life, the fear and risks of pregnancy outweigh challenging the status quo.
Frankly, that’s sickening to me.
And, I’m not about to go off on all babies are blessings (they are) and that God will provide (He does). I want to focus on the fact that we are not willing to research and discover alternative options for women to find healthier, safer options for pregnancy planning.
And, let’s be clear: fertility awareness has seen greater exposure in the past few years and more research is being conducted. But, it’s not enough. Larger funding goes to other initiatives and women’s healthcare is kicked to the curb.
Arguments that it’s safe enough and it’s not harmful (it can even help!) are shared in doctor’s offices and online resources. It’s as if to say, “We know this is crappy, but what can we do? It’s better than being pregnant.”
Here’s the irony in all of this, too.
The pill was designed to help women space out pregnancies. It also introduced the opportunity for sexual license to have multiple sexual partners without consequences. However, only one “consequence” was really looked at: pregnancy.
The consequences of deteriorating health, turning off a functioning system, and not addressing underlying health issues still exist. Those never went away.
And, while we want to encourage women to experience sexual freedom, one of the “minor” side effects of hormonal contraception is low libido.
And, yet, those side effects are worth it and way better than getting pregnant.
So, that’s it? You can either have crappy sex or not get pregnant?
Doesn’t an in-between exist? Great sex & ability to space out pregnancies as needed?
Oh, wait. It does. It’s fertility awareness.
But, here’s the catch. It’s going to encourage you to have one sexual partner. Ideally, that partner will be your spouse. It will allow you to learn your body, not stop ovulation (which is a key sign of optimal cycle health for women), and address any underlying reproductive health concerns that may exist.
It will challenge women to learn their bodies and be in sync with their health. It will encourage advocacy at doctor’s visits and thoughtful questions to inspire change and better care. It will motivate couples to work together and face hard realities (like cycle challenges, infertility struggles, sexual addiction).
I know I want the third option: great sex and spacing out pregnancies naturally, while honoring my dignity, my body, and my husband’s fertility, too.
Who’s with me?
