My older sister Angela had just graduated from college with her Master’s in Sports Psychology (yea, that’s a thing) and her boyfriend joined our whole family back at my parents’ house to celebrate. After glasses were toasted and cake was stuffed, Angela and Ryan snuck out the glass French doors that lead into the backyard and onto a wooden swing for a moment alone. Several minutes passed before a single knee hit the ground and a ring slid onto my sister’s finger. I was lucky enough to accidentally get a front row seat for their engagement while sitting in my dad’s favorite living room recliner. I couldn’t believe my eyes!
The next few weeks were very exciting as she snagged a date, a church, and a reception hall. There were many other details which she had plenty of time to wrangle, but there was one more important thing I could not wait for her to do: sign up for her NFP class.
I know. What a weirdo? But all I knew of fertility awareness at the time was that it was something engaged Catholics would learn in order to avoid pregnancy after they got married. It meant we got to plan a wedding! I perceived it as an exciting rite of passage which only an engagement ring could purchase your ticket to. The problem with that scenario, and, really, an overall poor cultural understanding of NFP/fertility awareness regardless of the specific thought process, is that it leaves behind countless women and couples in need of the body literacy that it provides.
My sister and I are two of many women who endured severely painful periods throughout our teen and young adult years and believed it to be normal due to the unspoken rule that girls should just deal with it. I watched my sister assume the fetal position in pain on the bathroom floor many times, then I took her place as I became of age. Other women are shushed for complaining about a range of PMS symptoms or other hormonal abnormalities. These actions have somehow become normalized rather than being clearly designated as red flags.
When women are unable to function at full capacity, our families and our society feel the effects. Empowering women to identify and address these red flags is a cause we should all champion. Our menstrual cycles are not meant to limit us, but to make us thrive both collectively and individually! Their purpose is to develop a nutritious environment for babies and to provide hormones that are healthy for the woman’s short and long term health. It not only encompasses an intriguingly complicated series of events to ensure that those things take place, but it dispenses information daily. If we learn how to gather and keep track of that information over time through charting, an even bigger picture emerges and allows us to make important choices about our overall health and fertility. Having many ways to gather that info through multiple different method options sweetens the deal, but only when that is part of the education process.
You might ask – what education process? I wonder the same thing. Of course, neither my sister, myself, or my mom knew much about the menstrual cycle or the health benefits of charting until we were well into our 20s, and far too late. “NFP” is not exactly forefront in most curriculums, OB/GYN offices, or even churches. It is frequently referred to within the context of Catholicism, but rarely with a full appreciation of all aspects and benefits. Representatives of different faiths and cultures have a responsibility to prepare young generations with this useful and empowering knowledge about themselves and their choices. Birth control is a popular option, but understanding that it silences the woman’s menstrual cycle, along with those healthy hormones that are only produced through ovulation, and doesn’t address underlying issues, are key pieces of information that are often left out. In vitro fertilization may help a couple to achieve pregnancy, but you don’t often hear about how it bypasses the underlying issue(s) to attempt such, or how infrequently pregnancies reach full term. Frankly, I believe we deserve better than that.
Birth control is a popular option, but understanding that it silences the woman’s menstrual cycle, along with those healthy hormones that are only produced through ovulation, and doesn’t address underlying issues, are key pieces of information that are often left out.
Mary Bruno
Pain and other symptoms are generally understood to be an indication that something is not right, warranting some investigation that could require going in-depth. Why wouldn’t that apply to this situation? Why aren’t more doctors fully aware of the science in support of Fertility Awareness Based Methods? Where are the comprehensive fertility awareness learning programs in school? Why don’t they bring awareness by weaving it into TV show story lines like other important causes? Where are the support programs at church? Severe cramps, PMS, postpartum depression, infertility, and more all have causes and all who deal with them are in need of support, solidarity, and the tools to identify and address issues before they become bigger problems – not afterwards. Our bodies have a beautiful communication system built into it and we do women a disservice when we disregard the value of the information her body provides. Learning how to speak its language should become a priority well before a ring delicately slides onto that little finger on the left hand.
If we are truly pro-woman, then we believe that she deserves to understand all of her reproductive health options.
If we are truly pro-woman, then we give her access to the information her body is communicating to her daily.
If we truly believe in the rights of women, we don’t make her wait. We empower her with the ability to make well-informed decisions about all things related to health and fertility from puberty to menopause.
Most people who understand NFP concepts see it primarily as a way to avoid or achieve pregnancy. Some are aware of the added health benefits. But, actually, my friend and business partner, Emily, recently pointed out to me that each fertility awareness user is gathering health information first. That data, in turn, is used to inform the user of her/the couple’s fertile window. Our health and quality of life is of primary importance because it precedes all other actions. No matter our age or state in life, this is information that is highly valuable!
I was 21 when my sister got married. I didn’t discover the health benefits of fertility awareness until I was about 25 years old and dealing with a 12 year late endometriosis diagnosis. Now I can look back with a crystal clear understanding of what is considered normal and what is not in regards to women’s health and appreciate the access I have to restorative reproductive healthcare – thanks to knowledge gained through fertility awareness. But we shouldn’t have to “look back” with a clear understanding when we can have access to it in real time. That’s not a promise to fix all problems; just a promise of improved awareness. Are we really making a choice if we aren’t aware of all of them? If we aren’t educated about our options until we are approaching the altar, we are learning too late. If we are old enough to have a period, we are old enough to become fertility aware – right on time.
