Well, this is a toughie because you have to really know yourself and what turns you on. It requires some deep honesty about yourself and sharing that with your spouse. If making out leads to you getting super frustrated or potentially causing premature ejaculation for the husband, then making out is not for you.
See what I mean?
I would recommend 5 things:
1) Pray for the virtues of prudence and selfless love. Ask the Holy Spirit into your relationship, especially in times of abstaining (TTA = trying to avoid pregnancy).
2) Assess what you like vs. what turns you on (and makes you get mad at TTA seasons). Be curious with yourself and be gentle! You’re learning about yourself and this step is huge – and important!
3) Communicate with your spouse about what you’ve learned and set boundaries ahead of time, so that when it comes to ovulation time and it’s later at night and you’ve had a glass of wine, you know what to do (and what not to do).
4) Be clear on your mission and your WHY for TTA. Abstaining isn’t happening to you. You’re choosing it. Even amidst difficult seasons that require TTA, you are still choosing it (I know that can be so hard). So, own that decision and make sure you’re on the same page. This will also help you in the times when you really want to be intimate, you know why you’re abstaining.
5) Have a list of your favorite TTA activities. Instead of numbing out or both of you turning to your phones, have a list of fun things you enjoy and want to do together. And, sometimes, it’s as simple as going to bed and getting some good sleep! Don’t create more frustration for yourselves.
Remember, you are a gift to each other and your sexuality is a gift. The ability to create life is a gift, too! You CAN do this and you’re growing in virtue together when you take positive action during TTA!
