Perhaps you’re spiritually bypassing sex in your marriage and you’re blocking the deeper needs you have for healing in your life. Maybe you’re needing practical support in how you can have great sex with your spouse and increase your libido, desire, and connection. Sex isn’t meant to be one-sided.
I talk a lot about the integration of body AND soul and how the Catholic Church recognizes us as body-soul combos. She recognizes the goodness of our bodies and it goes all the way back to Genesis. We aren’t a shell or a lump of flesh. We aren’t trapped in our bodies.
We ARE our bodies.
So, what does it look like to pursue healing in an integrative way?
Dr. Bob Schuchts addresses 5 areas for whole-person healing:
- Relationship between us and God (spiritual)
- Relationship between us and others (relational)
- Integration within us: soul and spirit (psychological)
- Integration within us: body and soul (physical)
- Relationship between us and nature (ecological)
Perhaps sex with your husband is a checklist item. Why is that? Have you ever explored why that might be? What’s blocking you from having great sex with your spouse?
I won’t turn this into a therapy session via blog post, but I do want to encourage you to pursue counseling for yourself if you find that there are blocks for you in growing in intimacy with your spouse! You are deserving of deep connection and to live fully alive. There may be other wounds in your life that are impacting your ability to enjoy sex.
While I share about spiritual bypassing, I want to go deeper into and highlight the need for healing. When we avoid and we try to “offer it up” or “pray it away” out of fear or discomfort or frustration, we are not truly offering something up and we are not really praying and having faith in God. We are finding ourselves wanting to control and to make sure we are safe. This desire to feel loved & safe is not a bad desire. But, the fear, frustration, and grasping for control is problematic and doesn’t serve your marriage or sex with your spouse.
The journey of healing is lifelong. Yes, God can redeem and restore and create miracles in our lives! I do not doubt that, although the devil tries to tempt us every second that God isn’t on our side. But, the process of healing and continual conversion (metanoia) is life-long because God continually calls us. Even if we experience a miraculous healing, He doesn’t stop desiring us and calling us closer to Him.
Have you ever heard of the painting by Caravaggio, “The Calling of Saint Matthew”? The artist actually depicted the men in that painting to be Matthew at different stages of his life to show God calls us continually to conversion.
Ultimately, God wants our hearts. He desires us and He desires to love us.
Do you believe that God desires you and desires your freedom?
He made you for freedom in Him and to reflect His Love!
What steps do you need to take in your life to be set FREE?
If you’re looking for a place to start and you’re uncertain or nervous about taking the step towards counseling, I want to recommend you pick up a copy of “Be Healed”. Dr. Schuchts does a great job walking the reader through the healing process and what it can look like, integrative approaches (faith & science), and he is so tender and merciful in is writing.
If you’re not ready to purchase his book, I would suggest you check out his podcast to get a sense for his style and what he talks about in the context of healing! Start with the third episode: Theology of the Body & Healing: Part 1.
If you’re looking for practical ways to improve your sex with your husband and explore the many facets of intimacy, consider joining Dr. Sarah Bartel’s course, My Delight. It’s a 3 month course with lessons, weekly calls, and 4 1:1 sessions with Dr. Bartel to help you learn about the goodness of sex and have amazing sex with your husband! If you want to learn more about Dr. Bartel, check out this episode I recorded with her all about strengthening your marriage & sex life with your husband.
